Reflections Of Life

As a continuation of my last post, sitting at home for the past couple of days, in a well deserved break, I have been wondering how long I can sustain being an Investment Banker?

Day 0: Thanking Air Deccan for postponing my flight and cursing myself for not finishing one small additional task I was supposed to do :(

Day 1: Feeling guilty for taking a break, on phone and on mail trying to do as much as I can, but not making much of a difference. If I wanted to work, I should have been in Mumbai.

Day 2: Slowly giving up, realizing I am not as sincere as I think I am and work still goes on without me! Convince myself to switch off!

Day 3: At last feels like a break with my family, have given 100% here.

As in any other job, there are those moments when you do feel good about what you have done, and moments when you curse yourself for giving so much. I haven’t met many Investment Bankers who love what they do… though many wouldn’t admit, Investment Bankers are Bankers for love of the money and not for the love of being a Banker!

I still haven’t figured out what I like about my job!! Is it just the money? I don’t work in a place that is known to pay anywhere close to Investment Banking bonuses and I don’t think I would sustain for too long if I was here just for the money. But I truthfully don’t know the answer right now. And I guess I would be here only until I find an answer!

…& Start living!

Am I really thankful to Air Deccan for once… for making me travel post 10 pm… even though I would reach Chennai post midnight and have no clue how I am gonna reach home from there!

A friend’s wedding that I wouldn’t like to miss for anything makes me plan for a week long holiday, more than a month ago (I was actually searching for my tickets today evening for a good 15 mins before I discovered them :)… was impressed with myself! Holiday faces the threat of cancellation and the threat only gets confirmed when my first IPO gets scheduled to open bang in the middle of it. Loads of luck and some good people help to convert the one day break to a long weekend and I promise myself to be back on Monday in time for the issue to open.

Milestones in the week… After efforts in a maximum of 8 transactions at one point in time, disappointments of non-closure and sometimes disappointments of non-beginnings, at least one of my deals is getting closed this week. The delisting offer isn’t successful, but it marks the closure of my first deal with a public announcement in today’s newspapers and final formalities in the next couple of days.

First IPO getting launched… yes, I do wish the first one was not as a CBRLM, but then at least it was a start to reckon.

Have worked on all days this month… have had a good share of entertainment too… But sometimes I do wonder if I really like what I am doing… The same things that make me feel good make me feel that I can’t sustain this for a lifetime (well, I doubt if I can sustain anything for a lifetime!)

I sometimes do wish I could be the person I was 4 years ago… thinking back, it does seem like an eventful life but sometimes do think what if life had taken a different turn at those eventful times!

Wrote this on the flight a couple of days back, and got to post just now!

He was there as an attraction and it was an immature amusement!

He was there when I was independent to make me realize I still haven’t grown up!

He was there to ignore me and for me to walk on!

He was there to make the best part of my life but disappeared to make me respect him more!

He was there to give me life again but was never part of it!

He was there to have fun and forget and yes I did!

He was there along the drive... would you be there?

If the first work week of the year was any indication of how the year is gonna be, I would require a lot more energy and should learn to have a long distance relationship with my first love! But then I am happy at the end of the work I have done over the past few days and looking forward to the meeting tomorrow in Hyderabad. Seems like there would be a lot more to do when I return, but I didn’t want to let go of the opportunity tomorrow when I had put in so much effort.
Feels good to do some good work :)

Also, I am going to ISB tomorrow for ISec’s pre-placement talk – would be a different kinda ISB visit. I am gonna give the head of our investment banking team a grand tour of the place I am proud to have spent a year of my life.
Looking forward to tomorrow :)

I wish I could live with lesser sleep so that I can do a lot more… like, right now at 2 am, I am blogging when I have a flight to catch early morning… wish I could still have the energy to sustain for the next 2 days of scarce sleep. I wish I could be like all my colleagues who say 6 hours of sleep is enough for a sane day!
But then when was I ever sane :)

One of my good friends said this to me over the weekend… “we are amazed that you still have the energy and you just don’t give up”… this is not true for everything that I do, but one particular context we were discussing… this is one thing about myself that amazes me too! Feels good and hope everyone feels the same!
Just an eternal optimist :)

3 days of non-stop fun and I am dead tired… but don’t want to go to sleep and end it all!

The New Year weekend in Ganpatiphule, a beach 400 km into the Mumbai – Goa western coast… A group of 15 with connecting nodes at ISec, IIMC, IIMB, Symbiosis and more… A Saturday afternoon 1 pm start that actually happened at 4 pm with two self driven cars and a third rented car with the driver that left Mumbai at about 6 pm after picking all the poles at different points!

Double dinner breaks at McD & Hotel Saraswati, a punctured tire and a few almost fatal possible accidents later, we did reach the guesthouse at about 5 am! A real long drive among the ghats and empty scary roads but then the company was good enough to keep us lively all through the journey :)

Stayed in a room which could actually accommodate the 14 of us! When everyone was actually awake and up, we hit the beach around noon and I was adequately equipped to run straight into the water :) Good many hours of fun kissing the waves and the high tides, playing a few games and just getting immersed under the water! Just couldn’t get enough of it!

Lunch followed in the evening and a few hours of rest cum freshening was good enough to get us prepared for the small bonfire cum New Year party at the beach :) Songs, dance and drinks welcomed the New Year as fireworks lightened the sky… hearty hugs and good wishes to everyone around and around the world! My best moments for the night was my new found talent to be the group’s bartender as I mixed old monk, vodka and royal challenge with the accompaniments for et al :) I enjoyed my new role so much that, I realized only at the end of the long night that I hadn’t even had my coke! I hope everyone had a good start to the New Year.

The long night was getting cold and so we were forced to get back to our room… A good night’s rest before we started the journey back with good moments to remember :) Food breaks and parting dinner at McD once again marked the end of the trip, though it took another 2 hours to wade through Mumbai traffic to enter my home!

This group of people hardly know everyone… it is actually a group in which everyone knows a few people well enough, but we all had such a good time even as we got to know each other and fell in love with everyone around :)

A very different New Year’s Eve… have never spent it with so many people in a beach! But loved them all and loved the moments even more :) Hope it’s a good start to a lot of things that I would make happen this year.