Reflections Of Life

Someone with no hands and no legs… saw him twice right outside my building… his world is just the 10 steps around that area where he sleeps and people are considerate to get him food from his every day begging.

A set of families with kids sleeping peacefully on the pavement opposite to the Mahalakshmi station… 8.30 pm peak traffic time… horns blazing… the dad snoring… is everyone alive?

The recent attrition in office has again left me wondering about how people dependant I am. After the bonus session in late April, it was pretty evident that all senior associates were on the look out and so most of the quitting didn’t really come as a surprise… but then the fact of the truth does leave me depressed… I will miss them and all the fun and the liveliness they brought to the floor.

I realized over the last few days that the most shocking (for lack of better word) of all was M quitting. Over the past few months he had spoken to me more than a couple of times on why I should stay here… I had asked him about his plans and he said he would not quit from here for another investment bank. He also told me about his plans here… & I guess truthfully I got very comfortable staying here with him around… I knew I would lookout but would always have the back up option as a very secure one.

He gave me the independence to work the way I wanted… He was my knowledge store and I executed based on that knowledge. He appreciated my work and made sure I was well compensated for it. I needed someone to tell me where I was going in this industry and he talked about it without me asking for it. He told me how I should and would be guided the way his boss did 8 years back.
… & I thought we made a good team!

And I heard he put his papers… and he confirmed that for me! I felt like the little child who realized that the toy she was shown was never meant to be hers. It was just a show piece which was to be taken away someday. And unfortunately, she was angry with the toy because she thought she had the right to do so, but then the toy was never really hers, was it?

I thought I was the only person who was feeling let down and today I found one more soul in office who felt the same.

And without me asking for it, people have been giving me tons of advice on whether I should stay / move / move with him!

The two people in my organization who mattered the most to me have put in their papers :(

This was about to happen… should have expected… thought it wouldn’t be so bad… but it did hurt.

It was the end… lost a friend.

However brave I try to act in all those tough moments, there are these small things that I am shit scared of and gives me away… animals, especially dogs and cats are one of these things… have nothing against any living being… but then these can scare me to cry in public :)

I never fell ill during my childhood!!! Yeah… that’s hard to believe, but it’s true, except maybe for the illness immediately after birth… so I never had to take medicines and injections until I was like finishing school and didn’t know how to learn them then!!

…I called up my mom after all the ‘things’ that needed to be done with my leg were done and I was alright… she didn’t bother too much about whether it pained… (she knew I wouldn’t tell her even if it did…) all she remarked was ‘you must have been scared outta hell’… why do moms always know us too well?

Anyways this was to talk about the sweetheart surgeon I met in the hospital… I had met a doctor who asked me what the problem was and even before I finished talking said, ‘you people have a wrong impression about this clinic! What can I do if you have a cyst?!!!’ I just wanted to get outta that place… no way was I giving my leg there...

And then a friend fixed an appointment with this ol’ man who I met the next day and set my own rules :) I told him he was to tell me every detail of what he was gonna do before he did anything to my leg! And believe me, he actually did! He does much more complicated surgeries on an everyday basis, but then he still treated me too nice and like a very important patient even though I created a ruckus that’s hard to imagine :) and I have been visiting him every alternate day and he welcomes me like a family member and gives me a hug to say “he knows it pains”… must say, he is the sweetheart of all the doctors I have been to :) may he be blessed!

He was there as an attraction and it was an immature amusement!

He was there when I was independent to make me realize I still haven’t grown up!

He was there to ignore me and for me to walk on!

He was there to make the best part of my life but disappeared to make me respect him more!

He was there to give me life again but was never part of it!

He was there to have fun and forget and yes I did!

He was there along the drive... would you be there?

3 days of non-stop fun and I am dead tired… but don’t want to go to sleep and end it all!

The New Year weekend in Ganpatiphule, a beach 400 km into the Mumbai – Goa western coast… A group of 15 with connecting nodes at ISec, IIMC, IIMB, Symbiosis and more… A Saturday afternoon 1 pm start that actually happened at 4 pm with two self driven cars and a third rented car with the driver that left Mumbai at about 6 pm after picking all the poles at different points!

Double dinner breaks at McD & Hotel Saraswati, a punctured tire and a few almost fatal possible accidents later, we did reach the guesthouse at about 5 am! A real long drive among the ghats and empty scary roads but then the company was good enough to keep us lively all through the journey :)

Stayed in a room which could actually accommodate the 14 of us! When everyone was actually awake and up, we hit the beach around noon and I was adequately equipped to run straight into the water :) Good many hours of fun kissing the waves and the high tides, playing a few games and just getting immersed under the water! Just couldn’t get enough of it!

Lunch followed in the evening and a few hours of rest cum freshening was good enough to get us prepared for the small bonfire cum New Year party at the beach :) Songs, dance and drinks welcomed the New Year as fireworks lightened the sky… hearty hugs and good wishes to everyone around and around the world! My best moments for the night was my new found talent to be the group’s bartender as I mixed old monk, vodka and royal challenge with the accompaniments for et al :) I enjoyed my new role so much that, I realized only at the end of the long night that I hadn’t even had my coke! I hope everyone had a good start to the New Year.

The long night was getting cold and so we were forced to get back to our room… A good night’s rest before we started the journey back with good moments to remember :) Food breaks and parting dinner at McD once again marked the end of the trip, though it took another 2 hours to wade through Mumbai traffic to enter my home!

This group of people hardly know everyone… it is actually a group in which everyone knows a few people well enough, but we all had such a good time even as we got to know each other and fell in love with everyone around :)

A very different New Year’s Eve… have never spent it with so many people in a beach! But loved them all and loved the moments even more :) Hope it’s a good start to a lot of things that I would make happen this year.